Growing up

Spend in pure converse our eternal day;
Think each in each, immediately wise;
Learn all we lacked before; hear, know, and say
What this tumultuous body now denies;
And feel, who have laid our groping hands away;
And see, no longer blinded by our eyes.

-Rupert Brooke

I came to the conclusion that a person never realizes how much he has grown as much as when he read previous writings of his; journals, blogs, personal emails, etc.

There is no better proof of the things I did that I regret and things I said that certainly shouldn’t have been said. Things that seem trivial now meant so much before and I just wonder how silly and self indulgent I was.

I look around me and I see people, especially young women, living very superficial lives and I tried to make more of my life, but after reading my history I realized that I might not have been superficial but I still was not the person I thought I was; I didn’t live up to the image (not physical!) I had of myself.

I guess that is what growing up and learning is all about, you know more today that you did yesterday and hopefully less than what you will tomorrow, or as Lincoln said it "I do not think much of a man who is not wiser today than he was yesterday". I know today that I’m not the same person I was six months ago, and that scares me because it makes me wonder who is the person I’m going to be next year?

This was like a wakeup call to remind me that every single decision I make today, is going to shape my future, whichever path I choose to take today, every hour I was I can’t rewind.

"I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I --
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference."

-Robert Frost

Midterms are over ... almost!

Why is it that the last exam is always the hardest to study before? I just get tired from all the exams and the studying, and it all feels like it has been going on forever. While studying for the last exam you can think of a dozen other things that you should be doing, and you get tired faster and an all-nighter seems impossible. On the other hand, when you do well on your last exam all the other grades seems irrelevant and you just want to celebrate.

There are only two courses that any student graduating from UAEU must to take: Islamic Law and Emirates Society. Emirate society is a nightmare to most students in the university and I really didn’t understand why and so in a moment of idiocy I decided that I will take it in Arabic instead of English, I had many reason for doing that one of which is that it is about time for me to improve my Arabic and learn more about my country – in Arabic. Don’t I regret that decision now though, oh yes I do. The teacher seemed like a nice guy, I enjoyed the lecture in general and actually listened to what he was saying, I wrote pages and pages of notes (in Arabic!) and was very confident about doing well, I went to the exam and thought I did great since I wrote all the points needed. Here is what I’m proud of; I wrote two essays in the exam each a page long! The teacher was not as impressed about my answers as I was it seem because he didn’t give me a 100 (I think he really hated my handwriting!), he previously warned us that anyone who questions him about his grading in the essay questions will regret it because then he will open the book and if the student didn’t answer word for word from the book he/she will lost marks. After the exam he said something about the students having bad handwritings, misspelling some words and not underlining key words.

I was so mad, and still am because this course is for all students in the university in all levels and I don’t see why they should make it such a nightmare to the students, why not make it interesting to learn about your culture and history for once?!

I don’t care though because I did great in all my other exams so Egyptian Professor teaching Emirates society and enjoying a power trip is not worth ruining my day. (Can you tell I’m trying to convince myself? I really should have taken that course in English.)

Eid Mubarak

Belated Eid Mubarak to everyone!

I hate saying Eid was not great but it was not, it felt more like a long weekend where you just have to socialize with people and be nice. Since this Eid was not very enjoyable we are trying to plan something more fun for next Eid but I’m not sure it will work out because exams seem to stick with Eid these days, midterm exams after this Eid and final Exams after next Eid.

What makes us Muslims

[This post is basically me stating my view regarding what was posted on: Exposing Muslims against Sharia]

It’s a plain fact in life that things change, ideas evolve and cultural norms adapt to the changing environment, but what do we do when the change start affecting religious beliefs and values, and where do we stop and what should we hold to and what should be changed. It’s a sensitive issue in the society and many people deny and can’t accept that we should try to make the best of everything, of course their actions don’t agree with what they say but that’s another story. If we’re not going to change for ourselves then we should think about doing it for our children because we don’t want them to grow up with conflicting ideas in a multicultural society.

That said, there are things that we can’t afford to lose in Islam and our beliefs, they are plain facts that every Muslim knows and whoever doesn’t believe in that or can’t accept it – maybe they should go and give the religion they are self-tailoring for themselves a name other than Islam.

Islam is simple and direct unlike what people think, to be a Muslim you have to believe in some things and do some things that has been craved in our minds since we were kids, so I don’t see how grown up can’t remember them and hold dearly to them?

Articles of Faith (Arkan AlEman) –

1. Believe in Allah (an only God)
2. His Angels
3. His books of revelation (Quran, Torah, Testaments, Bible and more)
4. All His prophets
5. The day of judgment and the afterlife
6. Faith in divine decree whether it’s good or bad.

Five pillars of Islam (Arkan AlEslam) –

1. Declaration of faith (Alshahada) which goes “I believe that there is only one God and Mohammed is his messenger”
2. Prayer (Five times a day at designated timings)
3. Fasting (Seyam) in the month of Ramadan
4. Zakat – almsgiving in a certain percentage according to a person’s assets.
5. Hajj – Pilgrimage to Makkah at least once in a Muslim’s life to those who are able.

If you don’t believe in those things then you can’t call yourself a Muslim anymore because how can you identify yourself with a group of people when you don’t believe in what holds the group together?

Summer thrill

Last summer I finally convinced my mother not to completely freak out and let me ride the slingshot, or it was more like I ran away from her and went to ride it and when she saw them pulling me up she just held the metal and started praying.

I rode it with my brother and sister and after the guys tied us up they said that I’m the one who will have to pull the trigger when we get up and let us loose, it sounded to me as if he was saying “just go up that building and jump.”, just plain instructions and I told him in plain words that I don’t think I can do that but he ignored me and pulled us up. On the way up I was freaking out and holding my brother’s arm so hard I wonder how I didn’t break it or something. When it was time to pull the trigger, I decided that I need to fix my Hijab, just to buy some time you know, and then I got this idea, I will just pull it only a little bit and tell them it’s not working and I’m trying. What happened though is that I just did that and I didn’t realize what happened until I was halfway down – it actually worked and we were falling!

It was the most exhilarating experience ever, I came down and wanted to go up again but they didn’t let me. After doing that I felt like I can ride anything and would really like to bungee jumping and free falling, I love thrill rides!

"The flight suits are connected to flight cables and on pulling their own rip cord, riders plunge in a 30m free fall at 80 to 90 km/h towards the ground before the swinging upwards in a 180 degree arc and then straight down again."

Pictures from the park's website:

Tied up and ready to go and I would guess the guy is telling them they will have to pull the cord, their expressions are just priceless, at least no one took a picture of me at that point this close.

They are flying!

Free to write again

Since the chance of me being jailed for writing here is null, or at least they say so, I decided I will try my hand at this again.

Now no one mentioned anything about torturing or killing me so I will still have to watch what I write until further notice from higher authorities that I’m to live. For now.

To those people who take life too seriously they don’t get a joke if it slapped them on the face – that was a sarcastic comment.

Ramadan Mubarak to everyone, and good luck in trying to make the most out of the last ten days, don’t forget that this might be your chance to get a free ticket out of hell. J

UAE vs KSA

For some unknown reason to me, I feel like laughing my evil laugh so HA-HA-HA-HAA!

Friends and family are gathered in our house all watching the game between Emirates and KSA, they're all so excited and I'm sitting in a living room next to the one their sitting in so I can just see their expressions but not the match and they would scream and jump every now and then.

I have a feeling that we're going to lose but they got mad when I mentioned that, my grandmother gave me this 'look' and was like 'have faith' and then mom started trying to give the Saudi's the 'eye' and her mom started lecturing her about it and telling her that she shouldn't do that, don't pray against any one and just watch. I really enjoy watching my parents being lectured at by their parents, especially that they're good children and therefore actually listen and in a way I feel like they turn into little kids, I'm sure they don't enjoy it though.

Mom decided that we're going to have '7ameer bread for dinner but she wants to watch the game so they got the stuff in the living room and they're baking bread there – kind of chaotic but the house smells good, I will go eat.

I still think we're going to lose… Those Saudi's are so tall and the Emaratis are so short. And even if we won this game with will lose against Oman! I'm such an optimistic person!

UPDATE:

WE WON! It was the best goal ever in the last minute too! So awesome! Everyone was jumping and screaming and the whole house was shaking!

I was not sitting with them but then went to eat and said 'Now that I'm here, we will make a goal!' and we did!!! (even though I was saying Saudi will win, i just said that because from past experience that team I'm against always win, believe me, it's true)

Now we're going to play against Oman on Tuesday and hopefully we will win, but mom said how they might because they (Oman) will be going to Bahla today.

People are actually celebrating it big, I can see the fireworks and can hear the cars beeping. I wonder if we're going to sleep tonight from all the noise.

I wish I know why

Here's an insight on what my life has been like lately. Since I finished exams I have been basically doing nothing except chilling which means thinking about life in general, then I had to spend some time with family. I have never been one to go on and talk to people; I have my 'personal space' issue, so don't jump on my face and start talking.

I didn't grow up around locals, I actually didn't grow up around anyone except my family and didn't even hang out with my cousins so when I grew up and started spending some times with them I saw things as an outsider would. 3lo g mentioned guys holding hands, I faced a similar problem with my female cousins (since no one else would dare come that close) and in the end I just had to go out and say it loud 'don't touch me!'. Maybe it's the norm and nothing is wrong with it, but I'm going to live my way.

Even with my family, I sometimes don't understand their beliefs and ideas and it almost always starts a discussion that I just end because I feel nothing is going to change them, but then sometimes these beliefs, if not changed, are going to effect my future and might hurt me so I just keep on talking and talking – nothing changed yet. Most of these discussions are what I would consider 'racist' but they say it's not that as much as about the culture and society, but if they're not welling to change then how do they expect the society to change, while if they started changing few things then by time everyone will come to accept it and change too, especially that they do that the power to change.

They're just so happy and proud that they're locals that sometimes that cloud their judgment and they would say things that I don't think are even acceptable in Islam. Most of the time these discussions evolve around issues such as marriage and politics; who is fine to marry and who is not, and who is okay to rule and have a high position and who is not. Then sometimes the debates start because of a simple action or saying and grow into this big issue that makes me so mad (I'm really good at just shutting up when I get mad though).

Like last week I challenged my younger brother to braid his hair in Kenya (global village) and at the time I honestly didn't think of it as a challenge that would cause such an issue as much as something he should do now when he's young and enjoy his life. He went and did it and it was so cool, I would post a picture if I can but I can't. Anyways, there we are walking around and we see dad in India and show him the hair and he gave my brother the evil eye and my brother says "MJ dared me to do it!" and then I get the evil eye so I walk away. I still don't get what the problem was and why did my dad get so mad at us but he did and it was like a complete disgrace to the family, they didn't even ask the reasons of why he did it after he blamed me so maybe my dad was more mad that my brother would do such a thing as a challenge (he said something like 'if MJ dared you to jump off a building, would you?') I remember braiding my hair in London when I was 12 or so and walking around so happy with my hair and white boots and I didn't think my dad minded but turned out that he was mad but let me go with it, his reason was that someone might think I have some (how do I say that?!!) African? Blood in my! Which is so wrong to say and harram!

The summary is, I'm the one who always causes such trouble (nothing new there, at least no one was physically hurt this time!) but I still don't know why!

Can anyone please explain why it's such a 'wrong' thing for guys to braid their hair? (He's only 15!)

Break

This is my favorite time of the day, until sunrise; it's so quiet and peaceful you feel like you're the only person in this world. Of course, most people waste it by sleeping at this time as they are taught to feel that it is the "right thing" to do, when it's just believed so for some unknown reason to me.

I finished exams yesterday and thank God it all went well. If anyone out there thinks that getting good grades is all about being clever and studying hard then I'm forced to just disagree with you, it has a lot to do with luck, or what I would call luck since I don't know what it really is. Now I don't have to think about anything school related until the 11^th of February, not that I think much about it anyways.

We had some plans for this holiday but then some uncle of mine decided to get married and therefore ruin our plans which mean I will be stuck in the country for this holiday. The only thing I know we will do is going to the desert and that will mean I have been to the desert this year more than I went in the past three years.

I watched the opening ceremony for Khaliji18 today and thought it marvelous, my favorite part was when they painted Sheikh Khalifa's picture, and no one guessed that they would do that! The fire part of the show was really interesting to watch too.

Then the game started, everyone was so excited about it and cheering, but we lost. I personally think it was an unfair game which is why I only watch the first half, and the referee has every reason to sleep with one eye open for the rest of his life.

Africa sweet Africa

My house is turning into Africa!!!

I will barrow Biz's African Drum and...

Lala kahle

In the jungle, the mighty jungle
The lion sleeps tonight
In the jungle, the mighty jungle
The lion sleeps tonight

Imbube

Ingonyama ifile    
Ingonyama ilele    
Thula     

I have my last final exam in an hour and have been studying all night... Almost.

I spent few hours playing wii too.

I will go have some hot chocolate then. I also have a cookie.

in the jungle, the mighty jungle...