Here's an insight on what my life has been like lately. Since I finished exams I have been basically doing nothing except chilling which means thinking about life in general, then I had to spend some time with family. I have never been one to go on and talk to people; I have my 'personal space' issue, so don't jump on my face and start talking.
I didn't grow up around locals, I actually didn't grow up around anyone except my family and didn't even hang out with my cousins so when I grew up and started spending some times with them I saw things as an outsider would. 3lo g mentioned guys holding hands, I faced a similar problem with my female cousins (since no one else would dare come that close) and in the end I just had to go out and say it loud 'don't touch me!'. Maybe it's the norm and nothing is wrong with it, but I'm going to live my way.
Even with my family, I sometimes don't understand their beliefs and ideas and it almost always starts a discussion that I just end because I feel nothing is going to change them, but then sometimes these beliefs, if not changed, are going to effect my future and might hurt me so I just keep on talking and talking – nothing changed yet. Most of these discussions are what I would consider 'racist' but they say it's not that as much as about the culture and society, but if they're not welling to change then how do they expect the society to change, while if they started changing few things then by time everyone will come to accept it and change too, especially that they do that the power to change.
They're just so happy and proud that they're locals that sometimes that cloud their judgment and they would say things that I don't think are even acceptable in Islam. Most of the time these discussions evolve around issues such as marriage and politics; who is fine to marry and who is not, and who is okay to rule and have a high position and who is not. Then sometimes the debates start because of a simple action or saying and grow into this big issue that makes me so mad (I'm really good at just shutting up when I get mad though).
Like last week I challenged my younger brother to braid his hair in
The summary is, I'm the one who always causes such trouble (nothing new there, at least no one was physically hurt this time!) but I still don't know why!
Can anyone please explain why it's such a 'wrong' thing for guys to braid their hair? (He's only 15!)
7 comments:
Hi MJ
You know that our parents’ generation lived and grew up in a society and tradition somehow different than ours. Society got opened so fast if u compared year 1985 to now. What it used to be Haram and wrong now is ok and people do it normally, for example it has been so close on women that time but now as u can see. Many changes happened in last decade and with more trends and ‘fanatek’ coming up these days old fashion people finds it hard to accept or see it on their kids.
For the hair braiding and why your dad was ok for u to do in London and your brother not is because they are not used to such stuff, don’t you hear that it is funny in a way to see a local 45 years old man wearing jeans and hanging around in AD? But if he does so in London is ok and normal. Like it is ok to go crazy outside the country but here no 3eeb and Haram. I think it is the same way or method of thinking, but when he saw his son with his hair braid he might got embraced. Personally it is kinda cool to braid hair for kids but maybe when little bit grown up it is bad bad bad as maybe your dad sees your brother as a man and do not want to spoil him.
big comment :p
so much to say about it :)
I can relate. My younger brother got corn rows last year (braided his hair) and my mom threw a fit. She said he looked like the devil.
His professors at the engineering college told him that engineering isnt a joke. My brother cleared the air saying ' I know its not a joke, thats why I have a 4.0 GPA.'
Its just how society sees it. If he went to syria with his hair like that, there would be soo much controversy over it. Even here people didnt get it, but the younger generation do, and they all thought it was soo cool.
I mean he grew up in America, and hes an athelete, so he did it.
Hes young and enjoying life before he going to be another guy in a suit.
The whole racism issue, its sad. Arabs in general are racist. Its haram and shameful that we have these thoughts even today.
When people ask me where im from, i'm just going to say 'the dirt, just like you'
fragile,
Thanks for passing by and for the comments. I guess I'm just used to my parents being open about things in general that when they react like this about anything I just don't get it. Maybe my parents might have been okay with my brother doing it abroad (for example when we were in Africa) but not here because my dad thought that if someone saw his son like that they don't get it and will automatically judge him, that's what I finally understood, the reason what makes sense to me anyways. My dad goes to the mall almost every day wearing pants but no one would dare judge him because everyone knows him, so that's the difference I guess.
Biz,
I always tell them I will marry someone who will shock them but they insist that I'm 'bint eltejar' haha. (everyone else, that's a joke btw)
i just re-read this post again. Its a really good post.
Yes this is a really interesting post.
They're just so happy and proud that they're locals that sometimes that cloud their judgment and they would say things that I don't think are even acceptable in Islam.
I've heard relatives and friends back home say just the kind of equivalent things, that if they heard someone else say them they would be appalled. Cultural pride/patriotism/etc can cloud people's judgements and perceptions.
I think when it comes to children doing "safe" things, like changing their hair, then it's best to be a bit disapproving - so the kid can feel successfully "rebellious" - but not go off the deep end. Better that a child gets their teenage kicks from braids or a rude slogan t-shirt than from tattoos/drugs/worse stuff.
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